Here are 5 things that can help after a miscarriage.

Seven years ago this week, my husband and I lost baby #1 to miscarriage. We named her Eden. Three months later, we lost baby #2: Jesse. Six months after that, we lost baby #3: Ella. And one year after that, we lost baby #4: Jadon.

Losing four babies within two years was really hard for me. Devastating, in fact. But there were a few things that  helped me get through that time.

If you’re in the midst of a similar season right now, I wanted to share with you a few things that helped me heal after our miscarriages:

What Helps After a Miscarriage?

1. Talking about it with someone you trust, someone who won’t judge you for feeling angry or abandoned by God or whatever else you might be feeling. 

This was huge for me. For several months after our miscarriages began, I stuffed emotions I didn’t want to feel, thinking they would eventually go away.

They didn’t.

Instead, they just got worse.

When I finally opened up about all of my emotions, that’s when I finally started to heal.

If you don’t have anyone like this in your life, a counselor might be a good place to start. I know it’s expensive. But if it helps you heal, a few sessions are worth the money.

2. Allowing yourself to feel any and every emotion. 

For months, the emotion I didn’t want to feel was anger. I buried anger because I mistakenly thought I wasn’t supposed to feel mad.

It was only when I allowed myself to feel that I started to experience some relief.

3. Reading other people’s miscarriage stories.

I cried when I read other people’s stories. A LOT. But it helped to know I wasn’t alone.

4. Doing things to remember the babies you’ve lost. 

We did a memorial service for a couple of our miscarriages. We also remember them every year on October 15th by lighting candles for each of them. We also named them.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but if you feel this could be helpful to you, I suggest you give it a try. It was very helpful for me.

5. Telling yourself the truth, even when your heart doesn’t believe it.

I had to tell myself over and over again, “It’s not my fault. I didn’t cause this. It’s not my fault.”

I also had to tell myself, even when my feelings didn’t agree, “God is still with me. He hasn’t abandoned me. He loves me.”

Our minds don’t always tell us the truth.

Sometimes, we have to choose to believe what we know to be true, even when it doesn’t feel true at the moment. 

Let’s talk: Those of you who have miscarried, what else has helped you? 

*I originally wrote this post in 2012 but have updated it here.