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We moms are way too hard on each other. Take stay-at-home moms and working moms, for example.
Instead of realizing we are all on the same team, we look at each other as opponents.
It’s almost like we assume another woman’s choice somehow threatens ours. Like if I support your decision to work, I’m also admitting I made a poor choice to stay at home with my kids.
But it’s not an either/or issue. Whether you work outside of the home or stay at home with your children has very little to do with whether or not you are a good mother. (Click to tweet!)
I’m a stay-at-home mom, but that doesn’t make me any better (or worse) of a mother than you.
Here’s the truth:
If you work because you need the money, you are a good mother.
On the other hand, if you stay at home because you don’t want to spend money on childcare, you are also a good mother.
If you work because you need the socialization outside of the home, you are a good mother.
If you stay at home because it’s a sacrifice you’re willing to make, you are also a good mother.
If you work because you love your job or if you stay at home and plan to return to work later, both of you are good mothers.
If you work because your job gives you a creative outlet, you are a good mother.
If you stay at home and find other ways to use your creativity, you also are a good mother.
A woman is a good mother, not because she works outside the home or doesn’t work outside the home. She is a good mother because she loves her children. Period.
I believe there are some women who are better moms specifically because they work. Not in spite of, but because.
They would be miserable at home all day, and a miserable mother is not as good as a happy one.
The question we need to ask ourselves as we decide whether or not to work outside the home is not “Will I be a good mother if I do this?” Instead, we need to ask ourselves, “Which decision will help me love my kids more?”
If staying at home will help you love them more, then that is the best decision for your family.
If working outside the home will do it, then that’s what you should do.
Moms, it’s time we stop being so hard on each other and let each family make its own decision. It’s time we stay-at-home moms start supporting our sisters who work and vice versa.
So from one stay-at-home mother to all of you working moms out there, I support you and your decision to work. I believe you are a good mother.
Let’s talk: Why do you think moms have such a hard time supporting one another when it comes to decisions like this one?
YES YES YES! This is EXACTLY how I feel. Just as each of our children are unique in their own special way, so are we Mommies! I totally agree that a HAPPY mom is a BETTER mom. Families ALL look different, and that’s ok. Instead of comparing, we should be encouraging and uplifting. What a great message of love, compassion, and acceptance you are spreading!
Thank you!
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Heather! I totally agree with you. We all need encouragement, regardless of our choices about working outside of the home!
I am so incredibly honored. Thank you so much!!
I came across this post and your blog from my Twitter feed. I thought it was so wonderful I wrote my own blog post in response! Here it is: forward to keeping up with your writing and thoughts.
GREAT post! I love your thoughts. I also agree that as moms, we should NOT be judging each other but supporting each other. I keep saying that each family needs to make the choices that are right for their family – and each family is unique. The choices I make for my daughters won't be the same as the choices you might make for yours, because our daughters aren't the same. And the choices I make this year might change next year as they change. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing this and for linking up with the Write Mama blog hop.
You are absolutely right, Gail. I think Christians often spend way too much time disagreeing with other Christians when they could be focusing on the love of Jesus. Very insightful comment. Thanks so much for sharing.
I see such strong opinions on blogs about these subjects, and I can identify. I went many years thinking that you had to be a stay-at-home mom to be a good mom. Now in my senior years, I'm realizing that God doesn't make us "one-size-fits-all." There are good moms and bad moms in both camps. I may prefer the choice of stay-at-home, but it takes Scriptural gymnastics to "prove" it's God's choice in every situation.Actually, I'm seeing a more self-righteous type of disagreement among Christians lately that sometimes becomes angry and ungracious…whether it's about politics, family size, homeschooling, modesty, Calvinism, translations of the Bible, etc.I'm sure that Satan is pleased to have us so busy focusing on our disagreements with other Christians that we don't have time to share Christ with the lost.Thanks, Lindsey, I always appreciate your insights.