Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of having a great marriage. Like Dave Ramsey says about money, I dreamed of having a marriage “like no one else.”

In my dreams…

My husband and I never fought.

He always knew how I was feeling without me ever having to tell him.

He knew when I needed a hug or when I needed a listening ear.

He never said the wrong thing (and of course, neither did I.)

The romance always stayed alive.

The list could go on and on. You’ve probably wished for some similar things.

The problem with these dreams is, they’re unrealistic.

Great marriages don’t just happen, regardless of who you marry. Great marriages take work.

For the next few weeks, I’m going to focus on marriage here.

I can by no means claim to be a marriage expert. Not even close. But I have learned a few things over the twelve and a half years of our marriage, and I’m excited to share these things with you.

Great Marriage Tip 1:

The first thing I’ve learned about marriage that has helped me (when I choose to follow my own advice) is this: Adjust your expectations.

Or better yet, just get rid of them altogether.

Because the truth is, if you’re constantly expecting things from your spouse, you might not even recognize it when he does something nice for you.

And if you don’t recognize it, you’re probably not going to thank him for it…and then he’s probably not going to feel very appreciated…and you can see how a very negative cycle can easily begin.

For instance, if you expect your husband to help with the housecleaning, you might not say thank you when he does the dishes. It was something you expected him to do, after all. It wasn’t like he did anything out of the ordinary.

But…on the other hand, if you have no expectations and your husband does something helpful, you’ll be much more thankful. And he’ll, in turn, feel much more appreciated.

Expectations have always been a struggle for me, but I’m learning. What about you? Do you struggle with holding unrealistic expectations of your spouse?

Join me this week as we seek to recognize our expectations and then slowly get rid of them altogether.

Because the truth is, if your spouse has nothing to measure up to, he’ll reach higher than if he can never measure up.

What expectations have you struggled with in your marriage? Leave a comment here.