God’s redemption doesn’t always mean reconciliation. I’m so excited to have Holly Smith on my blog today. She’s sharing about something I think many of us can relate to: a fractured relationship and how to find God’s healing for your soul, even if the relationships don’t get fixed. Here’s Holly.
Lessons Learned from a Fractured Relationship by Holly Smith
Spring hiking in the snowy woods near the Alluvial Fan in Colorado, I took each step carefully, considerately, trying to navigate the path and avoid the pitfalls—the traps of large and small rocks, washed-out areas and fallen limbs from the latest flooding of the prior October.
My family took a more difficult path, so I was alone and distracted with my thoughts.
I stumbled and fell headlong into the snow. Lying face down, I took an assessment—am I broken?
The answer? Yes…but not in a physical sense.
I sighed deeply, for the road had been long and fraught with pitfalls like these. I pushed up my body, bending one knee forward and springing up with that foot as I evaluated further. I bent both knees, one at a time. I lifted my arms and felt the wetness and soreness.
Then I stopped to stare at the place where my body lay. It looked like a chalk outline of someone who died.
I looked at that imprint and nodded my head in agreement. There indeed had been a death. It was represented well in my fallen, awkward snow angel.
Then the Lord whispered to my heart, “Holly, look up!”
And as I looked up, I saw the vast blue sky, naked aspen tree branches and evergreens that seemed to go on forever. Then I saw a majestic sight. A lone eagle flying so beautifully. And I felt God’s peace and presence in that place, where a very small mishap represented a very real life tale.
When we moved to Colorado in the fall of 2005, I experienced a shock. My family did not support us moving and refused to ever come visit.
Over the next few years, we tried to maintain some semblance of relationship, but their sadness had turned to madness. And we were punished continually for our choice that disappointed them.
It hurt terribly. There were no prior indication of problems, at all. Perhaps looking back, there were little things, but we never imagined we’d be here eleven years later with a completely severed extended family.
I walked with brokenness for several years, while we were planted by God in Colorado. People loved us so beautifully, so well. Knowing I could not afford counselors, God sent wise counsel and loving arms of older, wiser women in the faith. And His Holy Spirit wrapped me up like the warmest blanket.
For five years, we’d visit and even stay with my family, but it was painful. Barbs hit, where my hope for reconciliation was held out. It was unrelenting.
Then the Lord did something amazing.
He told me plainly to let it go and leave it all to Him.
So I put down my game piece, let go of every string of relationship, and began to learn to walk again.
Braver. Bolder. Stronger.
There is a well carved place in me now that God has filled up with His peace, His wisdom, His strength.
My need for being a daughter to my family changed to becoming a full-fledged daughter of the King of kings and LORD of Lords. It didn’t happen overnight. It is an ongoing healing, even today.
Over the past few months, I have had extended family pass away from various illnesses, and it has grieved me deeply for each one. Even as I write this today, one of my beloved aunts was laid to rest and buried. And I have to mourn from afar. My name is not being rightly represented before others, whom I love, and I have no recourse or welcome.
But the Lord has plainly shown me that He alone can heal this, and the healing bridge must begin with my family.
So my part is to pray and to continue to pray for that healing to come.
And it shall! For my God wastes nothing.
He has already redeemed my hurts and losses, as I look into the faces of my husband, my children and the many, many dear ones, whom God has brought to walk alongside.
His redemption story doesn’t always mean reconciliation in broken relationships—for we walk on fallen sod this side of Eden—but for every single loss, He will make something beautiful.
I know. He has for me…and I am grateful for the scars I bear. They show me God’s loyal love and faithfulness. I have a depth of understanding and maturity that has come. Our children love the Lord and are willing to follow Him wherever He leads.
Redemption in my loss has looked a lot like hiking on the trail that day—and looking up.
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chuckthephotographer/2391751046/
Thanks so much for sharing your story, Holly. I know it will bless so many!
About Holly Smith:
Holly Smith loves her job as wife to Chris and mom to Noah, Kylie, Tabor and Sydney. God has gifted Holly with a love of all things creative ~ from painting and wall-papering to scrapbooking and design work.
She loves to write at her website Crown Laid Down, where she is sharing about her sabbatical from social media. Also she designs and develops websites at Crown Laid Down Designs . Holly and her family make their home in College Station, Texas. She lives to tell, “In Every Season, God IS Faithful!”
Check back next week for another Real Story of the Unbeaten! Wondering what this whole series is about? It’s all about how God can help us learn to live UNBEATEN lives.
Coming Soon: Unbeaten by Lindsey Bell
