Infertility affects a lot more people than many of us realize.

Today, I’m honored to share another post in the Real Stories of the Unbeaten series. My friend Angela Mackey is here today talking about how she overcame the darkness of infertility. Here she is. 

Overcoming the Darkness of Infertility

There is a darkness that hangs around the heart when all seems hopeless. It seeps into your pores and sears your soul.

My darkness was named Infertility.

It changed the way my eyes saw the world. The darkness penetrated my heart and soul.

Where was the justice?

Where was God as I longed for children and other parents abused, abandoned, or enslaved their kids?

The darkness began to obscure the light in my life. I struggled to find beauty and joy in what I had, in who I was in Christ.

The promises of God? They seemed like pipe dreams. I felt hopeless, beaten, and abandoned in a world I did not understand.

In the darkness I had to make a choice. It was as if Jesus was standing next to me asking, “Do you want to go away as well?” and like Simon Peter I could only answer, “Lord, to whom shall [I] go? You have the words of eternal life…” (John 6:67-68 ESV)

So instead of keeping God at arms length, clinging to my frustration, my rights, and my desires, I chose to wrestle with God.

I chose to cling to Him, His promises, His ways, and His character while I asked my big questions.

I told God it wasn’t fair. I told God I didn’t understand. I asked God why. And in that wrestling embrace, I found I was close enough to hear God whisper in my ear.

He whispered words of promises

“…all things work together for good, for those who are called according to [My] purpose.” (Romans 8:28 ESV)

“I know the plans I have for you…plans for welfare and not for evil…” (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV)

He whispered words of His character

“[I am the] God of all comfort who comforts [you] in all [your] affliction…” (2 Corinthians 2:3-4 ESV)

He reminded me that He is near

“[I am] near to the brokenhearted and save the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 ESV)

He let me know that my tears matter to Him

“[I] have kept count of [your] tossings; put [your] tears in [my] bottle. Are they not in [my] book?” (Psalm 56:8)

He whispered words of correction

“…my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways…” (Isaiah 55:8 ESV)

“You shall have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3 ESV)

Just like Jacob, I walked away from that wrestling embrace changed and blessed. (see Genesis 32:22-32)

God used infertility to draw me closer to Him and to give me more compassion for others.

Through Christ infertility could wound me, but it could never beat me.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, Angela. I know it has blessed me…and so many others too!

About Angela Mackey: 

Angela Mackey is a stumbling wife and mother who longs to make much of her Savior. She encourages others to rethink their thinking in light of God’s Word so they may live transformed lives. Visit her at her blog Rethinking My Thinking or on Facebook.

Check back next week for another Real Story of the Unbeaten!

*Wondering what this whole series is about? It’s all about how God can help us learn to live UNBEATEN lives. Coming Soon: Unbeaten by Lindsey Bell