Mother’s Day was yesterday. With that day comes a lot of emotions for many of us, and those of you who know me know I process by writing, so that’s what I’m doing now, writing for me. But I’m also writing for some of you because my hope is that someone might realize she’s not alone. Someone might realize there are others out there who also have “all the feels” on this particular day of  the year.

For some of you reading this, Mother’s Day was wonderful. Maybe it’s your first official Mother’s Day as a mom. Your sweet husband made your day more special than you could have imagined and you are breathing in gratitude today. Or maybe you’re expecting your first child, and oh, the excitement is just filling you up.

For others, you’re what I like to call a “seasoned mom.” You’ve been there, done that, many times over, but still had a wonderful day with your sweet family yesterday and you too are breathing in gratitude.

The unfortunate reality, though, is that many women struggle on Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day Might Be Hard For…

• Those who are grieving the child they never got to hold
• Those who feel destined to have empty arms forever as the infertility battle wages on
• Those who recently lost a mother
• Those who lost a child or children
• Those who have chosen adoption for their sweet child
• Those who have rocky relationships with their own mom
• Those who chose abortion at some point or another in their life
• Those single moms whose children might have forgotten it was even Mother’s Day
• Those women in difficult marriages whose husbands didn’t make yesterday special
• Those who maybe thought they would be married and have a kid or two by now but find themselves single
• Those moms who have children that are struggling, either physically or mentally, and don’t feel capable of helping them through the battles they face
• Those moms who feel like failures because of the choices their children have made
• And probably several other situations that I haven’t mentioned

The truth of the matter is, Mother’s Day can be painful. It can also be wonderful. The thing you and I have to do is to make space for both of these realities…and sometimes to make space for both of them within ourselves. 

Some of us might sway back and forth between gratitude for what we have and grief for what we’ve lost all within the matter of a few minutes. And that’s okay!

If your Mother’s Day was wonderful, don’t forget about those around you who might not be feeling the same. On the flip side, if your Mother’s Day was painful, don’t begrudge those who are happy.

One thing I wish we would do more of is to really see each other…to see the realities that we find ourselves in. And then, instead of judging someone else’s emotions, just sitting with them in the emotions, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

This morning, my husband came home from work to deliver a surprise that someone had asked him to bring home to me.

That surprise: my favorite sweet treat, chocolate-covered strawberries, in a box labeled, “Happy Mother’s Day from your babies in heaven.”

I mean….I don’t even know what to say. He didn’t tell me who the gift was from, but I have some suspicions.

What I do know is this: that friend who took time out of her schedule to make or buy strawberries and then to deliver them didn’t do it because she had nothing else to do. I am certain she had plenty of other things she could have been spending her time doing. She also didn’t do it to get accolades (Keith wasn’t even sure he could tell me who they were from!).

She did it because she loves Jesus and she loves people. She did it because she looked outside of herself-no matter what her Mother’s Day was like-and sought to make mine better. She did it because that’s the kind of person she is.

And ya know…I want to be more like her. I want to look outside of my experiences and what I’m going through – no matter if I’m having a good day or a bad one – and see other people. Really see them.

Thank you, sweet friend, for seeing me, for remembering the babies we have lost, and for being the kind of friend I want to be more like.