Trying to sum up a 30-something-year-old’s life in a few blog posts is harder than I anticipated. I started sharing my story a few weeks ago. (You can read the beginning here.) My original plan was to share all of the key defining moments…those moments that have made me who I am today.
The thing is, who I am today is not only a result of the big moments in my life. It’s also the result of the day-to-day moments. It’s the result of the things that maybe don’t feel big at the time, but make a big difference.
For instance, I am who I am today because of weeks at church camp, where I attended both as a student and as a sponsor. I am who I am today because of Christ in Youth conferences, where I felt the Lord calling me to live a life that wasn’t all about myself and what I wanted. (And yet, as you’ll see as you read more of my story, that struggle to give up what I wanted didn’t die without a fight.)
I am who I am because of the men and women who have pushed me, challenged me, and sometimes asked more of me than I thought I was capable of doing. I am who I am because of the Christian college I attended and the things I learned there.
I am who I am because of the people I’ve listened to, the stories I’ve heard, and the places I’ve gone.
So…all that to say, I’m still going to share some of those big things, but I’m also going to share a few smaller moments, because these smaller moments are just as important as the bigger ones.
My Story: Part 2
On my 20th birthday, about two weeks before my wedding day, I called my soon-to-be husband and let him know I was on my way to church with my mom. “We’ll be there in about 15 minutes,” I told him.
Driving my 1999 red Mustang that my dad and I had rebuilt together, I pulled out of my driveway with my mom in the passenger seat. We were driving for less than a mile when we both saw another driver veering into my lane.
I hadn’t ever been in a car wreck while driving before, and I was still so young and naive, so I didn’t really think she’d hit us. “She’ll look up and correct her mistake,” I remember thinking.
She didn’t.
I was almost the entire way in the ditch on my side of the road when her car rammed into my driver’s side. My front tire took most of the impact, jarring both me and mom forward into the deployed air bags.
My mom smashed her fingers pretty badly and we both had significant neck pain after the accident and some bruising, but otherwise, we were fine. The other driver was also okay.
For that, I am so, so grateful.
But, there was also one thing that really bugged me about that wreck, especially while I was going through physical therapy, chiropractic care, etc.
The other driver didn’t seem to have any consequences for her poor choice. She didn’t even get a ticket that day because the officer on the scene was a family friend.
I, on the other hand, had medical bills to pay (that, though her insurance did eventually reimburse me for, were still very hard to pay for as a newlywed). I also lost a car I loved, a car that unfortunately I didn’t get as much out of as it was worth.
In the grand scheme of things, a lost car and bills are not huge. But that feeling of injustice ate away at my heart. It wasn’t fair that we were hurting and struggling and she had no consequences.
Have you ever felt that way? Like something that happened to you just wasn’t right?
As I’ve thought about this wreck in the years since it happened, I realized some things.
- I wanted her to have a consequence. And that was wrong of me. It was not my job to be her judge. Yes, she made a mistake, and yes, she could have really hurt us. But I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my lifetime too, and I don’t always get the consequence I deserve either. It’s called grace, and I’m so thankful for it.
- Life isn’t fair. You’d think I would have learned this lesson at 15 when I had the cyst in my foot, but nope, apparently, the lesson still hadn’t sunk in.
- God was with me in that car that day…and he was with the other driver too.
One way I know this is because there’s a bridge really close to where my car stopped after she hit me. That bridge is over a creek. As I pulled into the ditch to try to avoid being hit, I hadn’t thought about the bridge or the creek that day. I also hadn’t thought about how my little car would likely have flipped if we had gone over the side.
Her hitting my car kept us from going over the bridge. The impact of the crash stopped my car.
Do I wish she would have made better choices? Of course. I still go to the chiropractor regularly because of her choice. But, God brought good out of that wreck too.
He redeemed it, because he is – and always will be – the God who redeems.
More of my story to come! Stay tuned.
