Do you long for a real friend you can be completely authentic with? Do you want to be a better friend to the women you surround yourself with? (I know I do!) Read on for one simple tip that will make you a better friend.
The more women I talk to, the more I realize just how rare good friendships are.
It’s not that we don’t want friends. I think we all long to have someone to share life with. Someone to laugh with over a cup of coffee or bowl of ice cream. Someone to call when we’re having a bad day. Someone whom we can count on for help at the last minute or in the middle of the night if there’s an emergency.
We all want friends. Nonetheless, many of us don’t have what we would call a best friend.
(And maybe that’s the problem. Maybe we are seeking this one best friend…a bff or bestie…when we should be investing in the lives of many people around us…but that’s another post for another day.)
As I thought about this problem…this constant longing for real, authentic friendships, one solution kept going through my mind.
What would happen if instead of constantly searching for a best friend, we started initiating friendships ourselves?
What if we stopped looking and started being?
We don’t want to look vulnerable or needy so we don’t reach out to the women around us. Or maybe we don’t reach out because we’re insecure. We’re afraid they won’t like us. We think they probably already have plenty of friends. Surely they won’t want me to be their friend too.
Or maybe it’s simply because we are so busy. We don’t know how we could possibly squeeze in another relationship.
Whatever the motive behind our actions (or in this case, lack of actions), it all boils down to this: we don’t take the first step.
We want someone else to reach out to us, but refuse to reach out to them. Then we get down on ourselves because we don’t have the relationships we long for.
What would happen if today, we took the first step? Make a phone call. Send a Facebook message. Reach out.
Be the friend to someone else that you want someone to be to you.
*This post was originally written in 2012, but has been updated here.
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Funny you blogged about this today. My devotion was on being a loyal friend :)It's so true that we need to reach out. Life is much more fulfilling with loyal friends. A couple questions I'm learning to always ask myself to check if a friendship is true… "Are they my friend regardless if they get anything out of me and do they love without condition?"You're right. Sadly these friendships are rare. They require sacrifice on both sides and it's not easy, but it's worth it! I just hope that I can be the friend God wants me to be.
Friendships usually come easy for me because I tend to take the first step. Lately though, it's been a bit of a dry period and even reaching out can feel like a chore.Good reminder that sometimes all it takes is a call.