This month, we’ve been talking about all things Back to School. One problem with going back to school (public school at least) is that our children might learn things from their classmates we’d rather them not know yet (i.e. how babies are made or similar such topics).

At last month’s Better Together Conference put on by The MOM Initiative, I went to a class taught by Angela Mackey about when and how to talk to your kids about this very important subject.

Angela graciously gave me permission to share some of her tips with you. (And, by the way, if you want to read more from Angela, you can find her on her blog!)

Tips for Talking to Your Kids about S@x: 

1. Don’t just talk about it once. Talk about it over and over again throughout a lifetime.

2. Use appropriate terminology with your children. One reason Angela suggested this is to make it easier for children to identify and talk about inappropriate touching or abuse. If a child knows what his private parts are called, he can easily identify them to a parent or other adult in charge if someone tried to touch him in an inappropriate manner.

3. Don’t only talk about intimacy. Talk also about puberty and the changes your kids will go through as they mature. Talk about the differences between boys and girls. Talk about kissing and touching. Talk about pornography.

The problem with living in our sex-crazed culture is that it’s virtually impossible to prevent our kids from ever being exposed to pornography. What we can do,though, is teach them to divert their eyes. When they see something they know isn’t appropriate, teach them to look away rather than continue to stare.

4. Answer your child’s questions with accurate information (but don’t feel as though you have to share everything you know with their first question). Our kids need to know we know more than their friends do about s@x. They need to know they can come to us with questions to get honest answers. They don’t have to ask their friends because they know they can get the accurate information from us.

5. Plan a time to read a book with your child. One series of books Angela recommended was God’s Design for Sex. The first book in this series is for 3-5 year old children. Then, there are other books in the series as children get older.

6. Consider a special weekend or special date to discuss any questions your children might have.

7. Take advantage of teachable moments. (And look for them often!)

8. Share what God’s Word says about intimacy and purity. The Bible is far from silent on this particular topic, so do some research and then share your findings with your child. One great story to help your child understand the importance of diverting his eyes is the story of King David and his affair with Bathsheba. The affair (and subsequent murder) could have been prevented had David averted his eyes!

9. Begin early by talking to your kids about their bodies and how God made them. Then slowly (when you feel your child is ready or possibly when they start asking questions) begin introducing more information.

10. One final tip (that’s really more about you than your child): think about your own history. Are there issues you need to work through? Misconceptions? Abuse? Guilt? etc. If so, do what you need to do to begin healing from your own past so you can better prepare your children for their futures. If your history contains abuse, I highly recommend you check out my friend Mary DeMuth’s blog. She shares a wealth of information about learning to find freedom from a past that seeks to destroy you. She has also written a book that would be very helpful for you.

Let’s talk: what other tips would you add to this list?

Note: I am not a medical professional, and this is by no means an exhaustive list of tips. Angela, however, is a registered nurse, so I feel confident sharing the information I learned from her. Anytime one seeks to share about sensitive topics like this one, there is the possibility for disagreement. Please know that you ultimately know your child better than anyone else. Pray about when and how you need to discuss this topic, and then do as you feel the Lord is leading you to do.

*Photo courtesy: freedigitalphotos.net/imagerymajectic